Sometimes I wonder if what I do is really blogging and if what I actually write about is fashion. Existential questions pop into my mind lately when I try to post something. These kinds of questions somehow inspired me to write the last post of the year or the first one in a long time, depending on if you see the glass as half full or half empty.

 I started my blogging a few years ago doing posts on collections and a variety of themes, the ones I enjoyed the most were the ones about the history of items and those related to music and such. In fact one of my favorites was about a trip to the Corona Capital Music Festival in Mexico City and more than a review of what I wore, it was a guide on how i managed to get through the whole experience.

Writing is a thing that has been very well done in my family. My great grandfather and grandfather wrote books and my dad had many stories published in different magazines and newspapers, so you can say it's kind of hard to fulfill those high expectations. The quality of their work specially in themes concerning history is something I long to achieve but at the same time scares me to the core, So when a friend suggested I should start a blog, which was something I've never heard of before, it gave me a chance to write without the pressure of being in the eye of critics. 

I would have never thought this was going to be something that would open so many doors for me, meeting so many interesting people and doing so many things I would never imagine doing.  But in the end, for me it's not about the runways, the parties, or the events, it is about overcoming my own insecurities and inner fears.

 I'm just the kind of person that thrives on the emotions that things bring. Clothes give me emotions, they can transform me into just about anything, and most of all they can give me confidence when you are lacking it, or at least that is how it works for me.

My first post, I think was about barbie, so if you actually analyze it has not that much to do with fashion itself, others were about my trips and it became like a journal of how an ordinary person could do ordinary things and turn them into something worth reading about just because she dressed the part. The one responsible for the real fashion content was my blog partner at that time, the famous "Beardo" Mynor Veliz.  He is like a scholar of the arts when it comes to fashion so no wonder his blog turned out to be one of the most popular blogs with content that people actually read.

After fate decided we should part our own way, Life in Plastik, our little experiment had been something that inspired others or so I've been told. Still, I was unsure of what to do, due to my history of unfinished projects the blogging thing was something that was sure to be overthrown by some other crazy idea of mine. I never finish things, the fear takes the best of me, so I guess being able to write this today is a huge step. 

Just fashionably depressed is a reflection of who I am, I'm not constant, but It is passionate, real, and most of all true to itself. I would never dream of compromising the person that has taken me more than 30 years to be. Even the name reflects the reality I struggle with each and every day. Although sometimes I think it's time to let it go because my photographs do not have the quality of others, I'm not as young, or because I haven't really evolved into something more than what you see.

Growing up has never been something I could do easily, neither accepting things and dealing with change, but I'm still trying. I can't say it's a proper fashion blog because It will never tell you what to wear or tutor you on something, but there is something I can promise, It will always take you places and make you feel things. At least is what I'm aiming for, to be felt like a movie with the right track in the background.

So this is my blog, It's as far away from perfection as I am.

 Still struggling, but with something to say

It's what I've been doing since 2008.

keep on reading, because I'll keep on writing.

Empire Music Festival

Ever since we went to our first raves on 2002 , my sister and I knew that dancing to a beat dressed in the craziest outfits was more tha just partying, it was a lifestyle. That is why when we arrived to the Empire Music Festival with those bright colorful lights and that rumbling ground, we felt right at home. 

Last year we had the great experience of watching "capital cities" perform live at the Corona Music Festival" in Mexico city, we fell in love with the band so my sister decided a tribute was needed to welcome them to our country and we made our cropped shirts speciallly for that day.  Even my boyfriend who had never been to a rave before, got into groove pretty quickly and we all danced to the oh so amazing DJ lineup that went from all t ime classics like  fatboy slim and paul van Dyk to the new era of EDX, Afrojack,Alesso, W&W, Showtek and lots more.

As you can see, my life has always revolved around music and the importance of the right outfit to experience it.

So here are a few photos to show you all how amazing it was to relive those times of  tiny backpacks,glow in the dark attire and fun head pieces to get completely lost in the beat. 

See you next year EMF.

P.L.U.R.

Brahva Summer Music Festival

For some of us,just as stylle and fashion, music is an important part of our lives, we just can't live without it. 

That is why when I discovered Music Festivals, I found my heaven on earth.

The first festival this year was the BRAHVA SUMMER FEST, usually they bring really crappy artists or at least none that I'm interested in. But this year they made my day with an incredible DJ lineup that included Sebastian Ingrosso, R3hab, the beautiful Emma Hewitt (my sister got the chance to meet)and others.For me the main reason I attended was the amazing band "Empire of the Sun", not only the music was incredible,  the whole performance was out of this world. 

The right accesories

the right clothes

the attitude

We had the music and we had the style.

and they made us feel so ALIVE!

"CULTURA"

I have the great gift of amazing and talented friends. One of these amazing people is Edgar Navarro, An artist and jewelry designer who not only has the talent to create amazing pieces, but also looks great doing it. 

Edgar Navarro, artist and jewelry designer

He chose a very controversial theme for his art exposition "What It’s Like To Be a Ladino in Guatemala" and blended it with his personal experiences to create a mixture of color and texture with a message.

It took me a while to get there, as you know I get off work at eight, no time to go home and change. So I put on some bright coral lipstick, a leather trimmed coat and in the wise words of Tim Gunn I had to “make it work”. The best accessory someone can wear in time of need, is “attitude” so I packed a bunch of it and like always I made my “fashionably late entrance”.

I will not get into a political debate over the definition of "ladino" and all of the different connotations of class and race this term brings along. I want to focus more on the personal experiences of the artist and the gorgeous model, who also happens to be a very good friend, Gerardo Cordova. The esthetics of the whole project can be admired as soon as you set foot in the gallery. The logistics of course had to be done by his amazing assistant and talented fashion designer Alexander Ayala, creating an atmosphere of class and sophistication that surrounded the whole gallery.

The color, the sensuality of the images and the two dimensional pieces along with exquisite Jewelry from ESCARLATA (his own brand of  semi precious stones and silver based jewels) pops right into the eyes of the audience who just can’t stop staring. The idea of not only acquiring an amazing photograph with the androgynous innocence of model Gerardo’s beauty and the amazing ESCARLATA jewels is simply breathtaking.

 

my sister, JFD photographer ,Astrid Anzueto with

Alexander Ayala Fashion Designer

When I attend such events, I like to experience art in my very own way. I just stare and interpret the emotions I get from it. This piece in particular caught my eye, not only because it sits in the middle of the room as a beautiful centerpiece, but because of the candles it had a mystical air that quickly drew me to it.  His work is profoundly personal and I felt it when he explained the meaning.

"It is called AQUI TAMBIEN DUELE (here it hurts too)

,..It’s like a kind of altar to all that has made me who I am today. The color of the candles is for the three types of "maiz" (corn) which was and still is the basic diet of the indigenous population. The red sandals at the foot of the chair are for the oppression suffered and the blood they have shed through the history of our country. The big wooden chair has two meanings, the Spanish side of my heritage and the other one... the other one... this chair was supposed to be part of the furniture when we moved in (I knew he was speaking of a recent breakup) 

"...coping with this loss, it inspired me to create this project, as you can see..."

And with the quiet elegance that he is known for, he spoke no more. The silence that fell after these words told me it was the end of the answer and that he had revealed something very personal. I said nothing and continued along contemplating his art and admiring him even more, not only for the talent but for the humanity in him.

Quote of the day

Fashionably Depressed

Once upon a time there was this girl.

This girl is me or was me. I'm a grown up now, or at least I'm trying to be.

My life was never average.

I've always been different because I never wore the same clothes everyone else did and if I did, I tried to style them in a way that you couldn’t tell it was the same garment.

Popularity was never one of my biggest assets because I was "weird"

Thank God Glasses are in right now, and I can wear them proudly instead of torturing my eyes with contact lenses like I used to.

My taste in music has always been rock and roll oriented. That I have my father to thank for, all those nights with the Beatles, led zeppelin and the king "ElvisPresley" gave me a good base for my grungy punk high school days and my indie experimental college years.

One of my biggest dreams was to form a band and I had the chance to do it. I was once the lead singer of my garage happy punk band which later was nothing more than a memory thanks to my "saved" cool Christian emo phase.

My love for animals has taken me on emotional rollercoasters all of my life. I know reality and once you have stared into the dark side of the cruelty that humans put upon animals, you can never go back. That’s why I will never work or volunteer for any nonprofits again.

My family is completely dysfunctional. All families are like that you will say.

But mine belongs in a reality show or a very dark sitcom.

Still I manage to get along with them, not try to fit in, but just to go with the flow.

My friends...

A bunch of rock stars, models, bloggers, fashion designers, artists, freaks, geeks and the whole "Chex mix" of interesting people that make my life worth living

My love life... hmmm let’s just leave it in "peculiar and ironic", the eternal struggle. 

Currently in love and filled with hope.

My mental state.

This is where the fun begins.

Anxiety attacks and Depression.

I don’t even remember when it started, it just happened. I lost complete control of my life and fell in this downward spiral. The anxiety got the best of me. Up to thepoint where I had to give up my job and my college studies. My already confusing and complicated relationship went down the drain and I completely snapped.

I saw a couple of therapists per week, lost two part time jobs and my previous fashion blog to a "cold war" like custody battle with my ex. To make matters worse, my parents separated. Yeah I know I’m an adult I shouldn’t care but in LatinAmerican countries even if your parents are crazier than you, we stand by them until marriage, a scholarship or a job makes us move out of the house.

I stopped eating as a punishment for being such a horrible person. It was not about the being skinny part, but about the control of something in my life. Together with the partying, the drinking and all the other things that come with destructive behavior, I made myself terribly sick, to the point where I had to be hospitalized for my ulcer.

The most painful part of the whole "war of the roses" kind of thing, was that they blamed me for everything that had happened and guilt, my friend, is one hell of burden to carry. 

No job, no family, no boyfriend, no money, no blog. My life as I knew it was over in the blink of an eye and there was nothing I could do about it.

So I did what every girl in my position would do.

I started shopping like crazy, 

Not caring if the size was right or if already owned the same item in another color. I was hoarding fashion trends and it is not as glamorous as it sounds. My room was unlivable and my life was beginning to be a pain in the ass too. Plenty of thoughts about suicide and  how maybe that could be the answer to all that secret suffering, or at least I thought nobody knew I was going through so many things at the same time. 

This is the End I thought, either I commit myself to an institution, rehab facility and probably be medicated for life or I'm going to die.

So instead of cutting myself like I used to in high school I decided to embrace the best things in me.

My passion for music, my chick flick heroine attitude and of course my love for fashion.

One day I got up, put on my best outfit, the most flawless makeup and a killer pair of heels and decided to face the world.

I decided to curate my life

To take out everything that was holding me back to the past, including my closet.

My closet was the metaphor for my life. It was a big pile of new clothes with tags still on, old wrinkled and unwashed pieces, timeless basics and horrifying one time use trends.

So as the first step to curate my life, I curated my closet and like a Robert Frost poem

"...and that has made all the difference...”

It has been a long process and sometimes I just want to throw everything away.

But I know there are timeless pieces in that closet, in my life that are worth all the hassle, all the work.

So each day I struggle with myself, my guilt, my memories, my traumas, my surroundings.

Although, there was something I could always count on,something so personal, so Karol, that no one and nothing can take away from me....

 My Style.

So this is why I decided to write this blog, it’s personal and it’s very important to me.

 I want to show you, it doesn’t matter if you’re dealing with mental issues or family and love issues. You can move on and regain control of your life if you accept who you really are.

No matter what that is or if others see it as valuable

Because sometimes looking good, can make you feel good.

I see fashion and style as way to empower and believe in yourself.

So join me in this journey I call "my everyday life".